Running on empty

***NOTE: If you don't have enough time or inclination to read whatever I've written here, please don't. Jun Arn has an important notice in the post immediately preceding (chronologically) / after (positionally) this one. Read that one first if you have no time. Thanks.***

Every action we do on Earth requires energy, regardless of whether it is a monkey climbing up a tree, a plant synthesizing a glucose molecule, a human thinking of a joke to crack or a car moving up a slope. And everything which does work has a reservoir of energy. The monkey and human derives its energy from glucose in the blood, then from glycogen in its liver, and then from its fat deposits. The plant gets its energy from the sun while a car has its gas tank.

Throughout JS, I found that this kept thought kept on coming back to me: Running on empty. The first time I encountered this thought was when a group of eight of us crammed into an Unser Uncle Herbert had borrowed and made our way to EMC, PJ.

The Unser didn’t have a full tank; it was probably only one-quarter full. So after travelling for a while, the gauge started going down real fast. This was hardly surprising: Unsers are known for being gas guzzlers. Then, of course, it hit “E” and then after that, the low petrol light came on.

I didn’t know exactly when or where it was when the tank light lit up, but I thought that Uncle Herbert would have realized it. Later, however, he asked me when or where did it light up, and asked me how much farther could the car travel with the light on. To be honest, I had no idea. I come from a family which tops up its petrol tank when the needle reaches the quarter mark, and thus I have only seen the low petrol light on once or twice in my life. This was probably the first time I was in a car with the light on for such a long period of time.

Nevertheless, we were in an unenviable position. We had no idea as to where the next petrol station was, we were low on gas, and we had a deadline to meet. Uncle Herbert joked that maybe for us, we would have to multiply petrol to graduate from JS.

But I digress.

Somehow, the Unser made it to Rawang with the low petrol light on from, if I remember correctly, at the nearest, Slim River. Throughout the trip with the light on, we were hoping that we would have enough petrol, not only so that we would arrive on time, but also so that we could avoid the embarrassment of calling on the Peronda PLUS for some petrol.

Somehow we did. Or maybe we didn’t, but Someone else decided that we did. So somehow, we had enough fuel for the journey…enough to reach Rawang, and go pretty deep into Rawang before refueling at a petrol station.

After that, we stopped by for tea at Uncle Herbert’s house, and there I had my first contact with his family…at least in my living memory. For some, they had met and remembered Uncle Herbert’s family; I believe it’s obvious who. For others, it was their first time as well. So after tea, and a bit of rest, plus time to stretch our legs, we went down to Kelana Jaya and I got the closest I have been to my house in days.

One can say I was pretty pampered during JS; I got to go home during the first weekend, and during the second one, I was closer to home than most people. Sure, Mike probably was even closer, but then again, he didn’t actually get to set foot in his house.

I wasn’t left with another running on empty situation until we went to Penang. After the good lunch we had at the food court, the Penang Trinity group rushed to, where else, Penang Trinity. After going for their MYF meeting, and then having a barbeque, I was left pretty run down. I wasn’t starving, even though I didn’t eat much during the barbeque, but I was just plain tired. Somehow, I found the strength to walk and eat around Gurney Drive, even though, very frankly speaking, I was dead tired.

However, walking and eating was not the end of it. There was also the strength to stay awake until much later at night then I had originally planned, and as such, I only got 5 hours of sleep rather than the 6 I should have.

The next day, Michael wanted to wake me up at the usual time, meaning half past six in the morning. However, I could hear Sheng Yong telling him to let me sleep. I didn’t manage to get any sleep after that, no matter how hard I tried, but the “damage” had already been done; I had had less than enough sleep, probably somewhere around four to four and a half hours sleep.

Immediately after breakfast, and whatever time I had for cleaning up, we all went for service. Surprisingly, even after so little sleep, I managed to stay up during both sermons. Running on empty again? I would have to say yes.

Normally, if I’m dead tired, six hours of sleep won’t cut it; I need seven or eight. I normally prefer to get six hours of sleep; during school term, I used to get by on five, but I had naps in the afternoon. If I don’t sleep in the afternoon, I would be tired by eleven. But if I’m dead tired, and I don’t get enough sleep, I normally find myself sleeping during the pastoral prayer and struggling to stay awake during the sermons.

So when I managed to stay awake all the time, I found it absolutely amazing.

But that wasn’t the last of it. During mission week, on Thursday, I decided to hang my clothes instead of eating lunch first. By the time I had finished doing that, I didn’t have enough time to eat lunch, so I went to St. George’s on an empty stomach. However, I didn’t feel hungry, which was surprising, because whenever I fast, I would nonetheless feel hungry at some point.

I had one more experience, but that was not during JS per se, so it wouldn’t really fit here. On top of that, it was in…errmm…err...Pangkor, so the files (and my lips, figuratively and literally) are sealed. Maybe some other time…

Running on empty…hmm….were we really drawing on the last of our resources, or were we drawing on someone else’s resources? Were we scraping the bottom of the barrel, or was our barrel being refilled by someone else? Were we squeezing the last drop of wine from the cup, or was someone shoving an overflowing one into our hands when we wanted it most?

My brother came back from driving school one day, saying that the “E” sign on the petrol meter did not mean “empty”. He said that his driving instructor told him that it meant enough. Most cars, when the petrol gauge hits “E”, have enough fuel to take them another forty kilometers or so. So maybe we weren’t running on empty.

We had enough.

But then again, why do we think we’re running on empty, when we have enough? It’s because the gauge is pointing at the bottom of the range. It’s because our bodies tell us enough is enough, and it is time to take a rest. We see it as the end of the line. However, it is not, because while our senses tell us it is, there is still a little bit more in us which we don’t know was there.

We tap into it when we need it most, and we get it whenever we need it, especially when it is to do His work.

2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (KJV)

His grace is sufficient; not excessive, not abundant, but sufficient. Moreover, His strength is made perfect in weakness. We know Him most when we are down, we feel Him most when we truly reach out to Him, when all our hope is truly in Him. And, sadly, we are only in that kind of mood when we are dead tired or down for the count, physically, emotionally, mentally, socially or spiritually.

So the next time you’re dead tired, feeling like you want to crash, that you’re running on empty or don’t have enough rest, whether you’re expanding His kingdom or doing whatever activity He has called you to in the secular world, remember:

The One who can give strength in measures more than we can ask or imagine is with us.

Amen.

Happy April Fool’s Day.